Defections - Get Used to It

William Gladstone (1809 – 1898), four times British Prime Minister, was defeated by no-confidence votes but went on to become one of the greatest Prime Ministers in the UK's history.

(Revised on 21 Sept 2008)

1. We cannot deny that defection – from either side – is against the people’s mandate. It is the case that in this country, the ballots are deemed as the people’s last words, and that the rule of the game is, whoever commands the majority support of the Parliament is entitled to rule.

2. But will ‘chaos’ happen to our system of democracy if the government of the day could be toppled by the defections of MPs? For his attempt to topple the BN government by mass defections, the Prime Minister has even called Anwar Ibrahim a "threat to the economy and national security".

3. But then this has happened in many democratic countries governed by coalition governments such as Australia, Canada, Italy, Israel, India, Japan, etc – mature and developing democracies alike. Many Prime Ministers have been brought down by votes of no confidence – just read this list. Most of these democracies not only did not collapse, but continue to prosper to this day.

Prime Ministers defeated by votes of no confidence

Australia
* James Scullin (1931)
* Arthur Fadden (1941)
* Malcolm Fraser (1975)

Canada
* Arthur Meighen (1926)
* John George Diefenbaker (1963)
* Pierre Elliott Trudeau (1974)
* Joe Clark (1979)
* Paul Martin (2005)

Denmark
* Knud Kristensen (1947)

France
* Georges Pompidou (1962)

Germany
* Helmut Schmidt (1982)

India
* Vishwanath Pratap Singh (1990)
* H D Deve Gowda (1997)
* Atal Bihari Vajpayee (1999)

Israel
* Yitzhak Shamir (1990)

Italy
* Benito Mussolini (1943)
* Amintore Fanfani (1954)
* Romano Prodi 1st (1998)
* Romano Prodi 2nd (2008)

Japan
* Katsura Taro (1913)
* Shigeru Yoshida 2nd (1948)
* Shigeru Yoshida 4th (1953)
* Masayoshi Ohira (1980)
* Kiichi Miyazawa (1993)

The Netherlands
* Joseph Maria Laurens Theo Cals (1966)
* Rudolphus Franciscus Marie Lubbers (1989)

New Zealand
* Thomas MacKenzie (1912)

Norway
* Christopher Hornsrud (1928)
* Einar Gerhardsen (1963)
* John Lyng (1963)

Papua New Guinea
* Michael Somare (1980)
* Paias Wingti (1988)

Solomon Islands
* Francis Billy Hilly (1994)
* Manasseh Sogavare (2007)

Tuvalu
* Bikenibeu Paeniu (1999)
* Faimalaga Luka (2001)
* Saufatu Sopoanga (2004)

Ukraine
* Viktor Yushchenko (2001)
* Viktor Yanukovych (2004)

United Kingdom
* Lord North (1782)—This is considered to be the first motion of no confidence in history
* John Russell, 1st Earl Russell (1866)
* Benjamin Disraeli (1868)
* William Gladstone (1885)
* Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury (1886)
* William Gladstone (1886)
* Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury (1892)
* Archibald Primrose, 5th Earl of Rosebery (1895)
* Stanley Baldwin (January 1924)
* Ramsay MacDonald (October 1924)
* James Callaghan (1979)

4. Whenever the members of your party/coalition change ship, the government is brought down with it. So I’ve got news for you, Malaysia: It happens all the time. This is what Wikipedia says (you only need common sense to agree):

“The cases in which a motion of no confidence have passed are generally those in which the government party has a slim majority which is eliminated by either by-elections or defections. Motions of No Confidence are far more common in multi-party systems in which a minority party must form coalition government. This can result in the situation in which there are many short-lived governments because the party structure allows small parties to break a government without means to create a government.”

5. The political system might be a little more 'stable' if we have a Presidential system of government, eg. in the USA, France, South Korea, Taiwan. Unlike a Westminster style Parliamentary Democracy like ours, the Executive branch of the government in a Presidential system is not exposed to the same risk of change or removal. Once elected, the President is there for 4/5/6 years whether the Parliament/Legislature have confidence in him or not. So, you’ll know for certain who you have to deal with for a fixed period of time. In that respect, there is certainty in the political system. (Yes, you can still try to impeach the President, but it is usually very difficult and therefore very rare.)

6. On the other hand, political deadlocks are perhaps even more common in a Presidential system because it is very common to have one party controlling the Legislature and another party controlling the Presidency, kind of like what is happening now in the USA (President = Republican, Congress = Democrats) and Taiwan during President Chen (President = Democratic Progressive Party, Parliament = Nationalist Party). The Legislature may shoot down the President’s policies, and the President may veto the laws passed by the Legislature. But then the USA has survived countless such deadlocks – and prospered – for more than 200 years. Taiwan - after 2 democratic and peaceful regime changes in the past 10 years - is now proudly among the most stable democracies in Asia.

7. However, it is unlikely that Malaysia will switch to a Presidential system because we love our Monarchy, we would not want to replace it with a President. (Unless we choose to have a President who is still subordinate to the Agong, but then if the Agong has power to remove the President it would defeat the purpose of electing the President in the first place.)


Anti-Hopping Law – Unworkable

8. Can the problem of ‘political instability’ due to party-hopping be solved by an anti-hopping law? The fact that most of the other Westminster style democracies – mature and developed – in the world DO NOT have such prohibition of party-hopping seems to make the answer quite obvious.

9. But then we are Malaysia, and Malaysia is always Boleh, so maybe we should be the first to have it? Well, but how is that going to work in practice? Let's work this out.

10. The starting point we all accept is that our MPs are not mere rubber-stamps. (Softly: I know the BN MPs are, but psshhhh… in theory they are not supposed to be…) They are supposed to exercise independent judgments on whether to vote for or against any proposal presented to the Parliament, so it is always open for them - BN and Opposition alike – to vote for or against the government of the day.

11. So, it is always possible for the MP from the governing BN coalition to vote against the government’s decision to, say, join the USA in invading Iraq. This was what many British MPs from the ruling Labour Party have done, against their then leader Tony Blair. It is their right, as people’s representatives elected by their constituencies.

12. But if we have an anti-hopping law in place, does it mean that the MP from a ruling party could no longer vote against his own governing party? You might say, voting for one or two resolutions is ok, but not too many. But then how many nay-votes is too many? If a BN MP keeps voting against the BN and keeps voting in favour of proposals put up by the Opposition, is he still a member of BN, even though he is not allowed to jump ship and call himself an Opposition MP (because the anti-hopping law does not allow that)?

13. Ok, maybe we can accept him voting with the Opposition MP but he just cannot be allowed to cast a vote of no-confidence against the Prime Minister, leader of his own coalition. But if that is the case, is it still meaningful if, even though the Prime Minister cannot be defeated by no-confidence votes from his own party’s MPs, but his own MPs always vote against him in all other resolutions? How can he still govern if they keep rejecting his policies in Parliament?

14. The other alternative is of course to make it mandatory for the MPs elected under a particular party/coalition to vote according to party line, regardless of his own opinions. Therefore, let’s abolish paragraph 10 above, so the government will always be 'stable'.

15. But in that case, we would no longer have a Parliamentary Democracy – we have a de facto Presidential system which is even more powerful than the real Presidential system because we now have 2 branches cemented into 1: the Executive branch is fully controlling and controlled by the majority of the Legislative branch. Say goodbye to checks and balances and welcome Executive Tyranny – we might as well abolish the Parliament because whoever (both from BN and Opposition) is not appointed a member of the Cabinet (ie. the Executive branch) is basically useless, because they can never vote ‘no’ to any proposal by the Executive branch anyway.

16. The right of an MP to exercise his own judgment (paragraph 10 above) is so crucial and fundamental to any Parliamentary Democracy. If he is not able to vote freely, he would not be able to ‘jaga’ the Executive for the people, to vote against and to vote out the corrupt and incompetent government ministers (which is sadly the situation in the current BN-dominated Parliament). These MPs would have no reason to be elected in the first place.

17. So, to sum up, the anti-hopping law is fundamentally unsustainable because it seeks to deny the most fundamental feature of a Parliamentary Democracy – the freedom of each and every MP to vote to support any resolution, whether it is from the ruling party or the opposition.


Recall, perhaps?

18. But does it mean that the people should be left disappointed when their elected MP turns into a frog? Well, technically yes, and that is why it is so important for the voters to vote for the candidate, not the party. Vote for someone you can trust, whose judgment is sound and who is wise – no matter which party he is with. (Theoretically, don't forget that he should be allowed to jump ship after he was elected as a candidate of his party because his party might turn into a 'bad' party AFTER being elected to govern and half-way into their 5 year term.) That was the original intention of our Parliamentary system, anyway.

19. But I think instead of having anti-hopping law, we should have a ‘recall law’ where the voters in a constituency are allowed to call for a ‘referendum’ on the MP if the MP has done something against the wishes of his constituents who elected him, such as if he has changed party.

20. Voters should be allowed to have another election in their constituency to confirm whether that MP should continue to represent them in the Parliament if, say, 25% of the registered voters in that constituency petition to do so, after the general election but before the 5 year term is up. It would be like a by-election we now have.

21. That way, the MP would be forced to constantly explain his (in)actions in the Parliament to his constituents, making the system much more accountable.


Well, we must Get Used to it

22. So here we are, a Westminster style Constitutional Monarchy and Parliamentary Democracy. The Prime Minister can only be the Prime Minister if he is supported by a majority of MPs. If not, he has to step down immediately – simple as that. And MPs are allowed to change their allegiance all the time. In theory it is less 'stable', but more accountable because whenever the government does something incredibly stupid/unpopular (such as invading Iraq, 'main-main' with ISA arrests or the Prime Minister being struck by mad cow disease), the MPs should be able to bring the government down IMMEDIATELY, so that the government will be constantly accountable to the people.

23. Toppling the ruling party by defection is a fact of life in such a system, DUH!! Indeed, it SHOULD BE VERY COMMON, because it is only through this CONSTANT THREAT of being brought down that the Parliament is able to keep the government CONSTANTLY accountable and don't do anything stupid or crazy. It is the only effective weapon to check Executive tyranny. The only thing is that we have never come to this stage before in our history, so it’s completely new to us, thanks to BN’s perpetual insult on the people’s intelligence for the past 51 years and assuming that we are too stupid to handle Democracy.

24. But then I suspect that given the very slim majority (less than 5 MPs) that Anwar claims to currently have over BN in the Parliament, it is quite likely that Anwar’s “new government” (if he succeeds) could also be easily destabilised in the future by threats of MPs crossing-‘back’ (watch out for PAS).

25. If the current BN could be so easily threatened with crossing-overs even though they are only 8 MPs short of a 2/3 majority (while PR is a whopping 30 MPs short of a simple majority), I wonder how many governments in the future would be ‘stable’ enough.

26. If PR can really survive into the future and a 2-party system really takes root in Malaysia (which is a good thing for our Democracy), Malaysians must brace ourselves for a more ‘unstable’ and ‘fluid’ political system in the future. The only alternative is to back-paddle and retard the growth and maturity of our Democracy, back to the dark old days of a comprehensive domination by a single coalition (or to turn into a Presidential system – paragraph 5, 6, 7 above, which is unlikely).

27. Therefore, let’s get used to this ‘instability’, a hallmark of genuine Democracy. If so many other democracies could do it, so could we. Both sides of the political divide – and the important institutions of the country such as the Monarchy and the armed forces – should do the country a great service by accepting whatever decision is made by our elected MPs. There should be nothing to panic about if there is going to be a change in government. (Only those who are afraid of losing power should panic.) Once we manage to ride through this ‘growing pain’ of regime change (or failure to change) for the first time with calm and composure, we – and foreign investors – would have nothing to fear EVERY SINGLE time we have a general election. If we can live through this sort of 'political turmoils' unscathed, it would bear testimony to the maturity and strength of our democracy.

28. So welcome, Malaysia, to genuine Democracy. Enjoy the ride - and there is no need to 'panic'!



(from now on, I'll write like my idol Che Det - numbering my paragraphs. And it makes me feel quite 'Che Det', to be honest... hehe)

Dalai Lama wants Islamic states to follow Tibet

Juslo's Bawang

(Lhasa, Tibet, 31 June 2008) TIBET wants the Islamic states to emulate its Buddhist City concept where administration is based on religious tenets while promoting goodwill among non-Buddhists. His Holiness is expected to make the same call to the Christian, Jewish, Hindu and other pagan states in the coming weeks, according to his press secretary.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama of Tibet said that non-Buddhists should not be fearful of the Buddhist concept as it generated a harmonious lifestyle and curbed vice and crime.

“We want the Islamic states to copy Tibet’s form of governance and our concept of Buddhist cities.

“Buddhism stands for the ultimate good so we don’t see any wrong in others copying what we do,” he said after launching the pioneer USD100mil Buddhist township in Chamdo.

“If the Buddhist City concept promotes positive and healthy values, I suppose even the non-Buddhist would accept it. If they do not want to, then there is nothing we can do but people usually support good things,” he said.

The township project, billed as the gateway to Lhasa, would be carried out in four phases until 2014. It would represent every aspect of Buddhist living and religious requirement.

The city would have a state-of-the-art temple, a budget hotel with Buddhist architecture, apartment blocks, recreational grounds, shop houses and a research centre.

As at press time, it is understood that in response to the Dalai Lama's call, in the coming weeks,

(1) Nik Aziz, Malaysia's Islamic spiritual leader, would be making the same call to the Buddhists to embrace the 'Islamic City' concept;

(2) the Sheikh Al-Azhar, or the Grand Imam of Al-Azhar University, Egypt, would be making the same call to the Christians to embrace the 'Islamic City' concept;

(3) the Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Shia Iran, would be making the same call to the Sunni Muslims to embrace the 'Shia City' concept;

(4) the Pope would be making the same call to the Muslims to embrace the 'Catholic City' concept;

(5) the leader of the Mormon Church would be making the same call to the Catholics to embrace the 'Mormon City' concept;

(6) the leader of the Church of Scientology would be making the same call to the Mormons to embrace the 'Scientology City' concept;

(7) the Reverend Jerry Falwell (August 11, 1933 – May 15, 2007) an American evangelical Christian pastor and televangelist, would be rising from the dead to make the same call to the Muslims to embrace the 'Christian City' concept;

(8) Adolf Hitler, still the spiritual leader of the world's Nazism, would also be rising from the dead to make the same call to the Jews to embrace the 'Nazi City' concept;

(9) Mao Tze-Dong and Joseph Stalin would also be rising from the dead together to make the same call jointly to the Capitalists of the world to embrace the 'Communist City' concept;

(10) the leader of the World Vegetarian Network would also be making the same call to all the meat-eating people of the world to embrace the 'Vega City' concept;

(11) the President of the Alcoholics Anonymous Worldwide would also be making the same call to all the healthy people of the world to embrace the 'Booze City' concept; and

(12) the Chairman of the Global Stamp Collectors Alliance would also be making the same call to all other people who actually have a life to embrace the 'Stamp City' concept.

More religious, political, ideological, leisure and what-not organizations of the world are expected to make the same call to the rest of the world, in the coming weeks and months. The world's media would face a chaotic scheduling problem as they try to decide which 'Embrace City' press conference, counter-press conference, counter-counter-press conference and re-counter-counter-counter-press conference to cover. The media are worried that if they leave out any such press conference uncovered, they would be accused of bias, discrimination, racism, and anti-whatever-ism.

The Chief Executive Officer of CNN has made his own call to the world leaders to consider postponing "making 'Embrace City' calls" to allow an orderly coverage by the world's media.

Meanwhile, the world's natural disasters, hunger, diseases, corruption and poverty problems go unreported, as the mass media are busy convering competing 'Embrace City' calls by the various organizations.

Editorial notes: “Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home.” -- Arsene Wenger, on Sir Alex Ferguson. This is very true when applied to the Dalai Lama's latest statement above.

We do wish that the Dalai Lama learn to be less divisive, chauvinistic, self-centered, and (to be honest) fascist. Imagine if EVERY RELIGION/ CREED says that THEIR belief system is the best, and should be followed, we'll have chaos. After all, who the f**k among us could tell for sure that our way is definitely THE right way and THE best way, and that others must follow? Only God knows that, not those who play-God.

What makes the Dalai Lama think that other religions, like ISLAM, does not "generate a harmonious lifestyle and curbed vice and crime"??? Maybe they would do better, MUCH MUCH BETTER, than the Dalai Lama's own religion in achieving those goals?? If that is the case, would the Dalai Lama's own followers happily accept living in an Islamic City, since Islam "stands for the ultimate good so we don’t see any wrong in others copying what we do"???

How much does the Dalai Lama actually know about other religious beliefs anyway, to give him the moral authority or enough knowledge as a basis to make that kind of claim?? Surely if you don't know anything about other beliefs, logically you would not know whether others are more inferior, or better, than your own, right??

Just like it is the Dalai Lama's f**king annoying habit of constantly criticizing those who speak up against his Buddhist ideology as "ignorant about Buddhism and therefore have no right to talk about Buddhism", the Dalai Lama should heed his own adivce and learn how to SHUT THE F**K UP.

And if you want to force YOUR religious beliefs down the throats of others, we really cannot see how you have the AUDACITY to ask people who speak up against your ideas to SHUT UP -- man, you got to expect some reactions when you are spitting at others' beliefs, right?!???!!

We at JB really cannot understand why is it that the followers of the Dalai Lama cannot f**king realize that to keep championing his own religious beliefs AS THE BEST that should be followed by all is, AT THE SAME TIME, DENIGRATING others' beliefs as INFERIOR??? We at JB really cannot see how this is conducive to world peace.

Please lah, grow up, focus on how to make everybody feel equal and at ease with each other, so we can unite as a poeple and face the bigger challenges from outside -- especially to defeat our COMMON ENEMIES. Instead of calling it the 'Buddhist City', why not call it the Peace City, so that EVERYBODY, regardless of religious background, can relate to and call his/her own??

We at JB seriously urge the Dalai Lama to stop thinking that he and the followers of his religion is like Manchester United, while the rest of us are just his INFERIOR competitors in a competitive league who are destined for hell. We are all in the same team, for f**k's sake, and we need to defeat our COMMON ENEMIES, so stop annoying others please!!!

Malaysian Men Banned From Non-OIC Countries

Juslo's Satire (Used without permission)


EMERGENCY UPDATE on 24 June 2008:
ONIC has issued travel advisory to the citizens all member states against travelling to the Northern Malaysian city of Kota Baharu. The ONIC Secretary General's Office says that the DEPTH OF PERVERSION AND DEPRAVITY of all men (or wolves???) living in that city has reached an 'extremely critical level' because in addition to being aroused by school uniforms (which is a national phenomenon not restricted to that city), men in Kota Baharu will also lose control of their sexual desire by the sight of lipstick and high heel shoes as well. It is believed that "incidents like rape and illicit sex" would befall any female wearing lipstick and high heel shoes.
The Malaysian Tourism Minister responded that "I could assure you, from my personal experience, that the women of Kota Baharu are delicioius, voluptuous, sexy and seductive enough without wearing lipstick and high heel shoes. This is to keep our men from losing their mind and self-control."


(Miami, Florida, USA, Friday, 31 June 2008) At the First Emergency Summit of the Organization of Non-Islamic Conference countries (ONIC) held here today, the ONIC have unanimously resolved that all Malaysian males who have attained the age of puberty be banned, with immediate effect, from travelling to their respective countries. All visas already granted to such Malaysian males are also automatically revoked with immediate effect. This issue was the only thing being discussed in this Emergency Summit.

Secretary-General of ONIC, Madam Angelina Jolie (above, who is also the United Nations’ Goodwill Ambassador and a renowned American actress), says that its member states were concerned about the serious lack of fundamental sexual maturity among Malaysian men which has reached a new, dangerous level, which is considered as posing clear and imminent danger to all females across its member states, including young girls and old women.

“The member states must do everything they can to protect all our women, especially our young, school girls,” said Madam Angelina Jolie. “Due to the latest authoritative confirmation by one of the leading scholars in Malaysia, the member states felt that they have run out of options to protect the safety of half of their populations (i.e. the females) from sexual harassments and attacks by a group of deeply troubled men, and depraved beasts – if I may say so. This is the only responsible and effective thing for the member states to do.”

The “latest authoritative confirmation by one of the leading scholars” referred to by Madam Angelina Jolie is the pronouncement by one of Malaysia’s most respected, most intellectual, most learned, most scholarly and most influential NGOs, the National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia, whose vice-president Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari (a leading authority on criminal psychology and gender studies in the Islamic world) has dished out her latest nugget of wisdom called the "Theory of Uniform Arousal", to the effect that the school uniforms worn by the students of the Southeast Asian country would invite “social ills, including rape, sexual harassment and even premarital sex.”

“This leads to babies born out of wedlock and, to an extent, even prostitution,” Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari said. “This could see them getting molested, having premarital sex and all sorts of things.”

This is despite the fact that the uniforms cover most of the flesh of the female body anyway, from the neck to the wrists and to the toes.

(Picture: A typical Malaysian school uniform)

It appears that the ONIC have monitored the sexual maturity of Malaysian men closely in recent years, and Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari's latest scholarly opinion firmly confirmed their respective opinions about the danger posed by Malaysian men. Analysts believe that the last straw which triggered this unprecedented ban was the Malaysian men's perverse attitude towards female school uniforms, because all of ONIC’s member states have less conservative school uniforms than those worn in Malaysia.

One woman Minister attending the Summit, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that

“When Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari opens her mouth, we all listen. With a group of men who could go crazy even by seeing innocent school uniforms like that, you really don’t know what would provoke them next. It makes you wonder what the f**k is going on in these men's heads, and how our Malaysian sisters could live in such a dangerous environment. I would say Malaysia is even more dangerous than Iraq, because half of the population is just waiting to pounce on the other half, 24-7. Our hearts and prayers are with our Malaysian sisters.”

An emotional Malaysian male journalist (who was due to be deported immediately after covering the Summit’s press conference) questioned Madam Angelina Jolie whether the ban was "racist and anti-Islam", due to the fact that Malaysia is currently the Chair of the OIC and that the views of Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari is widely shared by the member states of the OIC, especially distinguished and pious religious scholars such as the Mufti of Australia.

Upon learning about the male journalist’s nationality and before she could muster a response, Madam Angelina Jolie visibly panicked and immediately asked for the protection of the armed policemen present. After a barrier was formed by 10 policemen armed with AK-47 assault rifles between her and the male journalist, (who was more than 25 metres away below the stage anyway), she then took a deep breath, and proceeded to explain,

“If you could get aroused even by a 13 year old’s school uniform, I’m pretty sure you would have raped Lara Croft the Tomb Raider."

"As your country’s Sisters in Islam Programme manager, Miss Norhayati Kaprawi said, “Something must be seriously wrong with local men if the sight of girls in their school uniform turns them on.”

"So, we really can’t take any chances of having a bunch of horny animals who have absolutely no self-control whatsoever walking around the streets of Milan, Marseille, Miami, Monte Carlo and Mongolia, among glamorous and beautiful women. Even though the member states would lose the tourism revenue from Malaysian men, this is far outweighed by the corresponding savings in eliminating the need to beef up security at whichever place on our soils where a Malaysian man is found. It’s just not worth it.”

Referring specifically to Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari’s comments that “It becomes a distraction to men, who are drawn to it, whether or not they like looking at it… This leads to babies born out of wedlock and, to an extent, even prostitution… This could see them getting molested, having premarital sex and all sorts of things,” Madam Angelina Jolie added,

“Malaysian men can’t seem to distinguish between being pretty or sexy and being slutty. Even if it is not a question of rape, we would still save our women a great deal of harassment from sexually immature Malaysian men, who would definitely misunderstand the ordinary dresses of our member states’ women as an invitation to sexual intercourse, or to be under the mistaken belief that our waitresses at McDonald’s are actually prostitutes advertising their services. Indeed, Malaysian men are worse than Borat. At least, Borat was charming and hilarious. Anyway, we are happy to at least do without the flirting from these childish men, which is no great loss at all – after all, your own Minister has said that the Malaysian men aren’t exactly Brad Pitt material anyway, you know what I mean?”

This blanket ban would be the first time in history that an entire country’s male population has been banned by any other country, although it is less comprehensive than Malaysia’s own complete ban on all Israeli nationals from travelling to Malaysia, which is currently still in force. Therefore, analysts believe that the Malaysian government would not have the audacity to complain about it, since this is only a taste of 'half' of its own medicine.

In Miami beach, Florida, the Mayor has already announced that the City’s police have been given the authority to “shoot first, investigate later” any Malaysian men approaching a 5 mile radius of the famous Miami beach, where skimpily dressed sexy, young women is a common sight. “If they could go wild over school uniform, imagine what these sons of bitches would do to our half naked American beauties on the beaches.” Other socially liberal ONIC member states as well as countries with nude beaches such as France, Spain, Italy, Brazil, Argentina, Australia and Thailand are expected to adopt the same “shoot first, investigate later” policy towards any man looking suspiciously like a Malaysian, who comes close to any female (including the ugly ones).

For reasons still unknown to the international press, Ulan Bator is the 2^nd City to follow such a “shoot first, investigate later” policy towards Malaysian men found in the City, even though Mongolia is a land-locked country with no beach. The country's Deputy Foreign Minister has declared -- without elaboration -- that "We'll shoot any Malaysian man who dares to come to our country, absolutely! We'll blow them up too!!" fueling speculation that Mongolia's policy has nothing to do with the uniform issue but some other undisclosed reasons.

Meanwhile, back in Malaysia, it is reported that non-Muslim men are planning a street protest against the blanket ban, in an effort to clarify that they have a much higher degree of sexual maturity and self-control around women and girls, especially beautiful women, so that they should not be lumped together with their Muslim compatriots.

In Petaling Street, Kuala Lumpur (the country’s hippiest fashion hub), T-Shirts bearing the slogans such as “I Am Not Horny, Angelina! (Even Though You Are So Damned Hot!!)” and “Hey, My Cork Doesn’t Pop at Uniforms!” are selling like hotcakes. Surprisingly, overwhelming majority of the buyers in the long queues are actually Muslim men, who seem to be ashamed of, and eager to distance themselves from, the enlightened opinion of Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari. This perhaps explains why there is a lack of protest of “Selling Out” against the non-Muslim men for their intended protest from the usually vocal UMNO Youths.

However, at press time, it is still unclear whether the country’s top leaders would be granted diplomatic exemptions for official visits to the ONIC countries, although the consensus seems to be that the country’s ‘trigger-happy’ Deputy Premier would most likely to be unwelcome in the ONIC.

The Malaysian Foreign Ministry spokesperson, while stated that Malaysia “understands with regret” the resolution adopted by the ONIC, have refused to comment on the Deputy Premier’s likely ban. However, the spokesperson did express the country's gratitude to Professor Tan Sri Dato' Seri Dr Munirah Bahari for publishing her "Theory of Uniform Arousal" and hailing it as "the most important discovery of Malaysian men's psychology since our Independence 50 years ago." The spokesperson added,

"In fact, if there ever was a "Theory of EVERYTHING" in the social sciences, this is it. It explains the root cause of EVERY SINGLE social problem faced by our country -- prostitution, sexual crimes, over-population by unwanted babies, et cetera et cetera et cetera et cetera! Our government will now follow the Professor's advice by changing the school uniforms. We believe that EVERY SINGLE ONE of our social problem will be automatically solved the moment we just take care of the school uniforms -- at ONE stroke of the pen only! No other country on earth could do this. This is pure genius!

So, the Malaysian Government will formally nominate the Professor for this year's Nobel Peace Prize. We believe that if the Nobel Prize committee is not racist and anti-Islam, the Professor would surely get a Nobel Peace Prize this year for her outstanding contribution to world peace (or at least peace in Muslim countries)."

Meanwhile, the Tourism Minister (whose status as a Woman is unclear), in a last-ditch attempt to woo back tourists to Malaysia, said:

"The ONIC might have missed the point here. We must remember that attraction is a 2-way process. Perhaps the ONIC women populations are simply jealous about the kind of attention our female population are getting from our men. Here is the other side of the coin: if Malaysian women could arouse our men into going wild by simply wearing a conservative school uniform, just imagine how astonishingly, breath-takingly pretty and sexy our women are! Come and check it out for yourselves -- I know I did!"

(Picture below: An unparalleled Malaysian beauty)

Well, it seems that outsiders would not be able to conclude whether it's the chicken (Malaysian men's extreme perversion) or the egg (Malaysian women's unequalled beauty) behind the "Uniform Arousal", unless they visit Malaysia personally. The intrigue continues...

Love - The Most Corrupted, Disgusting Idea

Something as DISGUSTING as this would wake anybody up from a coma!!

Just read what the most respected newspaper in Malaysia has to say about these 2 shameless people:

"NST reported that the couple had turned an abandoned toilet at the Gemas railway station into their home in March, after Ismail was employed to upkeep some new toilets located nearby.

They had used wooden planks and plastic to cover leaks and the toilet bowls."

At first, I was like "Wow, what a romantic story..." 2 persons, already 70 and 68 years old, who love each other SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH that they don't mind living in a tiny shithole (literally!) converted from a public toilet, while keeping themselves alive with a dirty, dead end job of washing toilets, which doesn't even pay enough for them taking public transport to collect medicine from the nearest hospital -- for the past 18 years.

-- so long as they have each other;
-- so long as they could grow older and older and sicker and frailer with each other, day after day;
-- so long as they can spend the last few remaining years, or even months or weeks, of each other's lifes together, until one of them slowly fades away...
-- so long as when one of them died, the other is holding his/her body in her/his arms, in this tiny paradise of love which belongs to them and them alone...


As they say in Hollywood movies,

“...to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow... to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

Look at our young people today -- do they still understand what is 'love' anymore? Ask yourselves -- would you have married your husband if he only has a deadend, shit job of cleaning toilets, while both of you can only afford to live in a shithole the size of a public toilet?

For the blokes -- would you have worked till you drop dead just to keep both of you alive even though the only way to make an honest living for you and your wife is to clean other people's shit and lives in a shithole?

I don't think any of you would have lasted 18 hours like that, let alone 18 years.

I say we should make a movie about this extraordinary couple so that we can teach our kids HOW TO REALLY LOVE SOMEBODY, something most of them no longer knows how to do anymore. Maybe they should start teaching our kids how to love, instead of all the junk they teach in schools nowadays?

You might have been seduced by the romance of the story like me but wait a minute -- just read the headline:

'Abandoned toilet couple' not married

What the....!!!
NOT MARRIED?!? NOT MARRIED?!? Plague be on both your houses!!!!!!

To be perfectly honest with you, those 2 words totally changed my perception of the entire story, and completely destroyed my sympathy and admiration of this couple! I'm sure that as a pious and God-fearing person yourself, my dear reader, you would feel the same as well.

I feel so deceived, to be perfectly honest with you. When I first read the story, I was so touched, I wanted to cry for them! But now, to be perfectly honest with you again, I just want to see those 2 disgusting motherfuckers STONED TO DEATH or beheaded in Pasar Seni.

How dare they commit zina/adultery and khalwat/close proximity?!?!
In the name of ‘love’??? I say hell is their eternal abode!!
“because you love me”??!! Hell is their eternal abode!!
“I will always love you”??!! Hell is their eternal abode!!

Did I hear you say "Let them live the remainder of their lives as they wish, they are old adults, they know what they are doing"??!! Have you forgotten your Al-Amr Bil-Ma'roof Wa An-Nahy 'An Al-Munkar?! Didn't they teach you fardh 'ain and fardh kifaya?! What the hell kind of trash are they teaching you people in the religious classes nowadays???!!

Listen up, boys and girls, as uncle Aisehman said, It's A Sin!!

This shameful life of these 2 shameless people is even more disgusting than the toilets they are staying in. This is the perfect example of how the western ideas of ‘love’ have CORRUPTED not only our innocent, ignorant youths, but also our elderly, who have lived long enough to see enough crazy shit in life, and who are much more mature and know much better than you and I about what does life really mean, what is most important in life after all.

To hell with you, GREAT SATAN’s Hollywood!! DOWN WITH AMERICA!!! "Till death doth us part" my ass!!! Hell is definitely their eternal abode!!


Of course, while we shame the evildoers and hypocrites amongst us, we must not forget to honour our mujaheedeen too, the hero of the ummah, the defender of the faith!

You're the MAN, TUN Mizan Maulud!!! What would the UMMAH do without u!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISES AND THANKS TO GOD FOR Y-OOOOO-OOOOOOOOO-OOO—–UUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

Yes, we can!! ;-P

Keep it up, our hero!!

(Incidentally, before you decide to denigrate our wise sister Munirah's enlightened, wise, incisive comments that “covering up” according to Islamic precepts was important to fend off social ills, including “rape, sexual harassment and even premarital sex" by cheekily pointing out to us that the makcik in the above report did cover up herself with a tudung/scarf but still (most probably have, I have full confidence in pakcik) committed extra-marital sex, or at least some 'social ill'... you are dead wrong!!

Why you are dead wrong?? Well, because... my ustaz says you are wrong!!!
You want to ask me the same question again because I did not actually answer your question?? ...Alright, that's it -- because you don't understand the religion, so you don't have the right to criticise it, just shut the fuck up, will ya?!!)


---------------------------------------------------------

The full report from NST is reproduced here. The MOST DISGUSTING part of the report is the title, as I'm sure you would agree:

'Abandoned toilet couple' not married

TAMPIN: It has been revealed that the poverty-stricken elderly couple who turned an abandoned toilet into their home are not legally married. They have been living together for the past 18 years.

The story of Ismail Mat, 70, and Rahimah Jolan, 68, was highlighted in the New Straits Times on April 4, and touched the hearts of many.

They were given a new house in the hardcore poor housing scheme in Kampung Tengah, Gemenceh, and a RM300 monthly allowance each. Television station NTV7 had given them RM2,000 and some groceries, and many others came forward to help.

State Welfare Department director Mizan Maulud said the couple's secret came to light after the department received a tip-off.

"We then asked the religious department to investigate, and were surprised when we found out that Ismail, from Jelebu, and Rahimah, from Jasin, Malacca are not married. Rahimah even has a husband who is still alive and well," he said.

The couple have been separated. Rahimah is in a welfare home in Cheng, Malacca, while Ismail is still living in their house in Kampung Tengah.

NST reported that the couple had turned an abandoned toilet at the Gemas railway station into their home in March, after Ismail was employed to upkeep some new toilets located nearby.

They had used wooden planks and plastic to cover leaks and the toilet bowls."

Election 2008 - Vote for PUNDAK

I am a proud member of PUNDAK, and here is my manifesto for the coming General Election 2008. (Different from the President's, so this is only for my own 'constituency'...)

If you are a hardcore opposition supporter, I don’t intend to sway your vote here; but those who are not the keen and passionate ‘supporters’ of BN nor the opposition – the ‘silent majority’ – should SPOIL THEIR VOTES on Saturday.

I have 3 reasons for spoiling votes in this election:

1) You should not vote for BN

2) You should not vote for any of the opposition parties as they are today

3) We should all take a ‘multi-elections’ view, to have a collective agenda of shaping the country’s direction through at least 3 elections

1) BN sucks

If you are a regular blog-reader, I don’t think I need to elaborate much.

- MIC exists solely for the purpose of keeping the Indians poor and ignorant, for the ease of control (ultimately by UMNO-putras). Semi-value is seriously out-of-touch and will have to rely on non-Indian votes to remain the taiko of Indians. Pathetic.

- MCA, UMNO’s dog, exists also to keep Chinese under control for UMNO-putras, but by a different approach: keeping Chinese scared and quiet. They have become so ineffective in protecting the rights of minorities that entitlements (e.g. building more Chinese primary schools) have become mere ‘gratuities’ dished out by UMNO, turning full-fledged citizens with extensive rights under the Constitution into beggars for ‘mercy’.

- Gerakan, also UMNO’s dog (like all the other parties in BN, to be honest) and doing the same thing to the Chinese like MCA but worse – they were supposed to be a multi-racial party championing multi-racial agenda, but has now become dominated by Chinese and Chinese issues. A sad example of how multi-racial politics get stifled in Malaysia.

- UMNO basically does the same thing as MIC, except that they are doing it to the Malays. UMNO-putras have hijacked the New Economic Policy, betrayed the Malay trust. Again, they use the same tactic as MCA – fear of minorities necessitating the need for absolute Malay/Muslim unity.

- BN in general is full of crooks, thieves and uneducated, shameless politikus. AAB has totally forgotten his previous manifesto in 2004 to tackle corruption and hunt down the '20 VIPs'. It is very telling that tackling of corruption is no longer a highlighted priority of the 2008 manifesto, and there’s no more ‘VIPs’ to be hunt down.

Above all, BN has systematically allowed the right to freedom of religion be undermined, creating uncertainties and fear among the minorities for their fundamental well-beings. AAB’s standard answer to this sort of controversies is “Everything shall be done according to the law” even though many people are precisely complaining that ‘the law’ is biased towards the ‘Islamic’ religious establishment.

Although AAB has allowed more space for freedom of speech than his predecessor, it is still not good enough and ISA is still used on bloggers (Nat Tan) and activists (Hindraf).

Let’s not forget the traditional ‘bragging rights’ of BN – the economy and material well-being. Our living costs have increased so much in recent years. Further, by refusing to do the right thing (taking away the ‘clutches’) after almost 40 years, BN has created a new generation of ‘bumiputras’ who are allergic to competitions and indirectly dragged the competitiveness of the whole nation down. Our Foreign Direct Investment has even begun to fall behind much less educated, non-English speaking countries in ASEAN like Thailand and Vietnam! Clearly, BN does not have genuine leaders who would drag their followers to do the right thing, but only clowns and tricksters who are good at hiding the truth and realities from a whole nation of ‘boiling frogs’.

So, a vote for BN is a sign of approval for all of the above. Anybody who has a brain could see that.

2) Opposition sucks

- PAS, for me, is the single biggest problem and threat for Malaysia's unity today. Its racist and religiously chauvinistic agenda of an Islamic State is the single biggest divisive factor of Malaysian politics. The fact that non-Muslims can only become a member of “PAS Supporters Club” instead of a full-fledged member of equal standing in PAS itself (and has to stand for election under the banner of another party instead of PAS) should tell us very clearly the obsession of PAS to turn all non-Muslim citizens of this country into dhimmis. (And don't forget their tendency to subjugate women in the name of religion.) Equality for non-Muslim is not what PAS is willing to offer. Any non-Muslim who still harbours any fantasy or delusion that PAS is the answer for a better future should open their eyes.

Not only does PAS incite hatred and resentment among non-Muslims, it’s biggest threat is the indirect effect of its very existence and strength – forcing UMNO to engage in an ‘out-Islamicization’ contest. If not because of PAS, UMNO would have less pressure to demonstrate how ‘serious’ they are in defending ‘Islam’ and in oppressing non-Muslims. Not to mention PAS’s tendency to say utterly stupid things (Valentine’s Day celebration could lead to promiscuity; educated women should not work because they can marry rich husbands, so leave the jobs to ugly women; cinemas should have the lights on to prevent fondling and kissing in the dark, etc) – and take pride in their own stupidity. PAS is therefore a constant source of embarrassment and disgrace - as well as threat - for Malaysia.

I’ll give credit where it is due, though – the fact that no PAS ‘big shot’ had yet been implicated in any corruption scandal (despite the monopoly of vast political, legal and economic resources by BN) would suggest that PAS politicians are clean, very clean indeed. But if we were to elect leaders based on who is more innocent and innocence alone, I would argue that Buddhist monks and Catholic priests who keep the vow to a celibate and frugal lifestyle are much better candidate at controlling their ‘nafsu’ (lust and desire) for worldly temptations than PAS ulamas who advocate polygamy of up to 4 wives and hell-bent on dominating/subjugating women.

- Keadilan is only the ‘loser version’ of UMNO/BN. A party facing the threat of survival could still get into power struggles (Ezam, Nalla have quit the parties as a result) is incredible.

I do welcome Keadilan's apparent agenda of a multi-racial politics which puts unity first. However, many suspect that most politicians in Keadilan – including Anwar himself – is only waiting to get elected and then jump back into UMNO/BN. The fact that Anwar himself has not apologized for/disavowed his past actions/complicity when he was a top leader (up to being the heir apparent) in BN (e.g. apologize for all the corruption, undermining of judiciary, suffocating of Chinese education etc) is very telling, again not correcting people's (especially minorities') perception of him being "all things to all people". It only strengthens my suspicion that he is not prepared to burn all his bridges, and is just waiting for the ‘opportune time’ to return to UMNO. (I don't think he has ever sworn that he would not do what Semangat 46 did - by returning to UMNO a decade or so later.)

If Anwar is a true statesman – as opposed to just another politician – he would have had the courage to say sorry, to put history behind and to chart a new vision and course for the nation as a whole. (Can't wait to call himself a 'de facto leader' only strengthen Anwar's image of being a power-hungry, opportunistic politician, rather than a visionary, intellectual statesman.) I don’t expect him to be like Nelson Mandela, but he is not even a Lee Kwan Yew. So, frankly, I don't trust Keadilan.

- DAP is becoming like Gerakan, turning from a multi-racial, socialist party (yes, let’s not forget that!) which is supposed to fight for all the poor, into a Chinese-dominated dynasty dominated by 1 ageing Chinese Emperor and his Indian puppet (Karpal Singh). Many good people have been driven out of the party, and nearly Fong Poh Kuan too. This is a very sad example of how politics without power could still corrupt. Truly amazing...

So, personally I do not think any of the opposition parties is electable at all. To vote for them is to encourage them to remain opportunistic, petty, obsessed with trivial matters and sexual control and domination, and to advance personal egos.

3) ‘Multi-Election’ Agenda for Malaysia's Future

Therefore, I propose that YOU – the ‘silent majority’ who feels that if there is no good, electable opposition, so you should vote BN by default (because you 'have to' choose the 'lesser of 2 evils') – to SPOIL YOUR VOTE this coming election. And for those who do not wish to participate in the electoral process at all because "there seems to be no choice" - please believe that you still can vote, even though you don't have a choice - by SPOILING YOUR VOTE.

Imagine the scenario when there are more spoilt votes than the number of votes obtained by the 'winning' candidate – BN or opposition. E.g. BN Candidate 3,000 votes, Opposition Candidate 2,700 votes, Undi Rosak 10,000 votes. With all those spoilt votes staring at them, both winner and loser would blush with embarrassment. This is especially humiliating for BN, because they would definitely use phantom voters; and if even after including the phantom votes, they still get LESS votes than the number of spoilt votes, they would know they are really in deep shit...

After the election, both BN and opposition would be thinking hard about how to woo all these ‘silent majority’ voters, and therefore how to behave and upgrade themselves to meet the taste of the increasingly fussy and demanding electorate. Neither of them could take us for granted anymore.

We the people, by casting spoilt votes, would be sending a loud and clear message to them that “We don’t like either of you, please fuck off” as well as “Come and get us IF you want!” We will be able to turn the table and tell them, we have a THIRD CHOICE between black and white, and being less evil/bad than your opponent is no longer good enough for us. We want the top of the class to be a Grade A student (and the No.2 a Grade A- student), rather than just a Grade E student (and the No.2 a Grade F student). Raise your standards – BOTH OF YOU – or we will not play the game of ‘lesser of 2 evils’.

On the other hand, to vote BN by default (because you don't think the opposition is electable) or opposition by default (because you are not happy with BN) might send out the wrong message - both of them could misunderstand our real intention, and think that they are being rewarded for their behaviours, because a vote in favour is still a PLUS - but a spoilt vote is a NEGATIVE FOR BOTH.

CONCLUSION

So, to sum up, the ‘multi-election’ agenda works like this:

2008 – Eliminate substandard, Grade E’s and F’s parties. (Especially PAS – if it is a straight fight between PAS and UMNO, vote UMNO, so that PAS will be severely weakened if not totally eliminated. This (eliminate PAS at all costs, even if it means voting for Son-in-Law) is the only exception to the ‘spoilt vote agenda’.)

2012 – Keep spoiling the votes if they still do not improve. I expect them to take at least 2 elections to get/'confirm' the message. (Again, to eliminate all traces of PAS.)

2016 – Hopefully, genuinely electable and up-to-standard opposition and ruling parties and candidates would have emerged by now, in which case we could bring ourselves to pick 1 of them. Otherwise, we’ll still do the same for the next few elections until they finally ‘get’ what we are trying to tell them.

Emphasis: If the winning party gets less votes than spoilt votes, it would be a MINORITY government by any definition – but very, very embarrassing indeed. Whoever wins, they would be very embarrassed for the next 5 years – whereas the loser would regret why s/he did not behave properly or else s/he would have captured all those spoilt votes.

Question 1: What if, say, by spoiling our votes, the worst happens – say, PAS wins? Sure, I wouldn’t like that, but even then, PAS is only the minority government, and they would know damn well that they have to behave properly to stay in power. If BN wins – they are still a minority government and they would have suffered a very serious blow because they know they could no longer take us for granted. Whoever wins, they know they would have to come and get us next time.

Question 2: Why can’t we just refuse to turn up to vote? No, that is not a strong enough message, because by making the effort to travel to the polling station, queue, and then spoil your vote, you are telling them that you are willing to go out and make a point. Whereas staying home would be sending out a more equivocal message, could be interpreted as “weather no good” or “busy because of school holidays” by the politicians.

I know BN will still win this election, but it is time we ‘vote’ with a longer term perspective than just 5 years/1 electoral cycle. It is time we tell them loud and clear:

I WOULD RATHER SPOIL MY VOTES THAN WASTE IT ON YOU IDIOTS - BOTH OF YOU. NOW, COME AND GET ME IF YOU WANT, OR JUST FUCK OFF.

The POWER (to spoil the votes) is, and has always been, YOURS.

Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong Declared a Muslim, Children ‘Disinherited’

Saturday, 31 February 2018

Malaysiakelak.com.my News (used with permission, copyright not protected)
By Juslo Satire

(KUANTAN, Friday) – The Syariah Court has today declared that the late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong was a Muslim when he passed away more than 10 years ago in 2007. The Syariah Court also ruled that since no non-Muslim is allowed to inherit any part of a Muslim’s assets or wealth, the inheritance of Lim’s assets by his non-Muslim children are invalid and unlawful.

“Therefore, the assets should be immediately returned to Tan Sri Lim’s name, and then redistributed to his Muslim heirs (if any) according to Syariah law. If he has no Muslim heir, then the assets shall be given to the Islamic authorities and they can do whatever they wish. The non-Muslim children are disinherited.” The Syariah Court ruled.

Dato’ Zakaria Lim Abdullah, 35, the late Tan Sri Lim’s only Muslim child and the 20th of his 20 offsprings, would be his sole heir and is now poised to become the Chairman of Genting Group, 1 of Southeast Asia’s richest companies worth RM2 trillion as at press time, after inheriting all the assets. (He would have inherited only 1/20 of Tan Sri Lim’s assets if Tan Sri Lim was not declared a Muslim.) However, he refused to confirm whether he would stop the gambling business of Genting even though it is haram under Islamic law.

“Are you saying that our Hadhari government should refuse to collect taxes from gambling, alcohol, pork and other haram businesses?” Dato’ Zakaria replied, perhaps rhetorically.

Dato’ Zakaria has also said that he shall honor his pledge to donate 1/10 of his newly inherited fortune to Jabatan Agama Islam Pahang and UMNO in equal share if he won the case, made 3 days before the Syariah Court decision.

“Business Reasons”

“My late father wanted to keep his conversion secret because he was a gambling tycoon, and he did not want to jeopardize his gambling empire or make his shareholders lose confidence in Genting,” said Dato’ Zakaria during the hearing in Syariah Court. The Syariah Court felt that “this is most likely true because of the huge business implications. It is very normal for Chinese to do this. We can accept that.”

As to the testimonies of Tan Sri Lim’s 19 other offsprings in the Syariah Court, who unanimously disputed the alleged conversion, the Syariah Court said,

“Even though it is 19 to 1, but because the non-Muslim witnesses refused to swear on the Qur’an before they testified in court, we could not consider their testimonies. In any event, even if they did swear on the Qur’an, the dhimmis… sorry, the non-Muslims would still carry less weight when compared to the testimony of 2 Muslim men. It is not about the number, it is about quality of the witnesses.”

The other witness supporting Dato’ Zakaria’s claim to have witnessed Tan Sri Lim’s conversion is Ustaz Abdul Rahman Ganilan Abdullah, 23 year old. The Ustaz would have been only 13 year old at that time of the conversion, but the Syariah Court said that,

“Being a righteous, God-fearing Muslim, we have no reason to suspect that the Ustaz told any lie. In any event, he has reached the age of puberty at the time (of the conversion) so he was qualified to witness the conversion.”

“Answer To God” – It Depends

The Syariah Court has also ruled that the overwhelming evidence of Tan Sri Lim drinking alcohol, praying to pagan idols, celebrating pagan religious festivals, eating pork and gambling in his own Genting Casino and generally behaving like a non-Muslim all his life until his death was “…irrelevant. Once you have converted, you are a Muslim till you die, no matter what you did before your death. You will answer to God for all your sins.”

However, on the same kind of “answer to God” argument made by the non-Muslim children that:

“By the same logic, the Deceased himself should answer to God for concealing his alleged 'conversion' from his family (and resulting in him not being buried as a Muslim and his assets distributed among his non-Muslim children); it's not up to the Islamic Authority to insist on his assets being inherited under Islamic law if he, had indeed converted but KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT HIS ASSETS WOULD BE DISTRIBUTED LIKE AN INFIDEL (AND HE MIGHT BURN IN HELL), still didn’t want to tell his family to bury him as a Muslim and distribute his assets like a Muslim.”

the Syariah Court said “you cannot say he must answer to God for everything. Sometimes he also has to answer to us, the Islamic Authority and Syariah Court. If we say he has to answer to us, then he has to. When it comes to God's law, logic has nothing to do with it. Why is it so difficult to understand?”

“New Conversion Policy” vs New Economic Policy

The case to declare one of the richest Chinese in the world (at his death) as a Muslim was started 2 years ago (8 years after his death), 1 month after another non-Muslim Malaysian tycoon’s Muslim son was able to exclusively inherit his father’s global business empire – worth RM80 billion at that time – by proving in Syariah Court that his father had “converted in secret,” resulting in his mother and all 9 other siblings losing the right to inherit any part of the tycoon’s wealth, leaving him the sole heir to the huge fortune.

There are currently at least 200 more cases of the same nature pending before the Syariah Courts nationwide involving deceased non-Muslims who were wealthy during their lifetime and left behind a huge personal fortune. Rough estimate suggests that 50% of them were started by 1 of the Muslim children of the deceased (99% of them newly converted as Muslims), and the rest by the Islamic Authorities seeking to disinherit all non-Muslim children. Many are now wondering who's next, and bookies all over the country (including those operated by Genting) have now closed the bets on the top 1,000 richest Chinese in Malaysia (both dead and alive) "as they have become hot favourites now," says the representatives from Ladbrokes Malaysia and William Hill Wahid (the Malaysian subsidiary of William Hill, UK).

If all of the cases succeed, it is estimated that the ratio of equity held by Muslims in Malaysia would jump from the meagre 19% as at 1 January 2018 to 76%, a whopping 3-fold increase.

The Perak Mufti, who applauded the Syariah Court’s ruling, said that this wave of after-death declarations of conversions is the new approach taken by the Islamic Authority to bring people to the right path. "We used to focus on the living, now we think we should focus on the dead people too. Under Islam Hadhari, it's never too late to bring them back to the right path so that they can achieve salvation on Judgment Day, even if they are already dead." He added that this would help to speed up the Islamicization of Malaysia, but is also designed to achieve the government’s goal to redistribute wealth among the races which the government could no longer do (and failed repeatedly to do) under the now abolished National Economic Policy.

“By creating real economic incentives for the dhimmis to become a real citizens of the Islamic state, we expect more of them to embrace the true path, and this will mean that we no longer have to rely on the NEP to achieve such noble socio-economic goals of the government. Besides, this is more effective because to take money away from living people will create a lot of noise, but a dead person will not make any noise, right?” He said.

However, it is not clear whether the non-Muslim children would still be able to keep their inheritance if they convert to Islam Hadhari immediately. The Perak Mufti, when consulted on this issue, said,

“If that could bring them to Islam Hadhari, then it would be good, so the Syariah Court should allow that. But then it might be unfair to those children who converted into Islam Hadhari earlier… perhaps we can still allow them to inherit only 30% of what an “early bird” Muslim heir would have been able to get, to provide some “early bird bonus incentives” for them to convert earlier. When we are dealing with Chinese, such bonus incentives are very important, if you know what I mean. Anyway, we’ll think about this in the next National Fatwa Council meeting. But rest assured that we shall continue our struggle and to finish our job – until the Kingdom comes (literally).”

Chinese Beginning to Be Concerned

The Chinese community has now taken this matter very seriously and are brainstorming on the options to overcome this problem. They have also called for an end to the practice of declaring a person’s status as a Muslim after his or her death, a radical change from their usual attitude to shy away from controversial political and religious issues. Analysts believe that this is because this time, it is threatening their economic interests.

Supporters of the now semi-defunct Malaysian Chinese Association, Gerakan and Malaysian Indian Congress (still part of the ruling Barisan Nasional coalition, though) have called on the top BN leadership to put forward a plan to resolve such controversial and provocative religious issues once and for all and in a manner which is fair to the non-Muslims. An MCA leader who declined to be named told our reporter:

“We fear a backlash. Most NGO and opposition leaders have called on the non-Muslims to boycott BN if no fair solution is put forward before the upcoming general election. These issues have been around since at least the Moorthy controversy in 2005 but still remained unresolved. They are now affecting the basic security and fundamental well-being of the non-Muslims.”

[Juslo’s clarification:

This is purely a SATIRE. NOTHING in this post is factually true. DEEP APOLOGIES to the family of the late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong. Forgive me for using a real, prominent name in order to try to bring out the real, concrete implications of the stupidity, madness and suffering which are happening in Malaysia right now, and hopefully to raise awareness of the people, Muslims and non-Muslims alike, in order to prevent ABUSE AND MANIPULATION. Let's ensure that the above WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Juslo’s additional clarification on 1 February 2008:

Some have accused me of being 'provocative' and 'inciting hatred.' I want to clarify that these are NOT my intentions -- but I strongly believe that these are what the corpse-snatching evil doers from the 'Islamic Authorities' intended. You cannot blame the victims/their communities for reacting in anger to your provocation because you knew very well that this would cause anger, pain and disharomony, and yet you still chose to go ahead to do it -- you expect your victims/their communities to SMILE AND WELCOME you??

These reactions were dead certain -- you have seen them in the Moorthy case, and many cases before, so don't pretend that you are somehow 'surprised' by the anger this time. Please don't be so SELF-CENTERED, put yourselves into other people's shoes for a change.

Some also accused me of "bashing Islam." Honestly and sincerely, I D-O N-O-T believe that this is ISLAM, and (as someone who was once 'attracted to' and have learned much about Islam) I am sad that people would equate these pain-anger-suffering-causing evil actions as 'Islam.' I hope all those who wish to defend these people think twice before equating them with 'Islam.' And if you think this is just 'islamophobia' or 'lies,' then explain to us where are the safeguards and how and why this kind of abuse and manipulation will never happen. Put our minds at ease. (But please spare us the naive "Muslims will never lie in syariah court" excuses.)

But I hope this much we could agree on:

that Islam should be practised in a FAIR & JUST manner towards non-Muslims;

that good Muslims will continue to speak up against injustices everywhere, ESPECIALLY those committed against non-Muslims in the name of Islam;

that no more suffering n pain would be visited upon non-Muslims in the name of Islam no matter what is the justification;

that Islam will not be manipulated by individual Muslims for their selfish gains.]