PAS is Too Dumb and Toxic to be ANYONE'S Partner (including UMNO)
ABSOLUTE FREEDOM OF SPEECH is practised here. Please GO AWAY if you can't stand it.
“You know that I am (100% prepared to take action against any members of the cabinet for corruption). I can make sure that if there is a case and report against any cabinet minister (and subsequently no action is taken), I am willing to go down.”
“Please read my speech carefully. I said “cabinet minister”, but I did not say “Prime Minister” or “Chief Minister”, am I right?? Yes, I did say before that I'll quit if big fish are let off, but hey, don’t you people watch National Geographic? Didn’t your teachers teach you people that whale is NOT a fish but a mammal?? I said MACC would catch the 'sharks', yes, but we never said we would catch whales! Whales are in a completely different category than fish, big or small!”
“We have no problem catching sharks but do you know how dangerous it is to catch a whale?? If a whale flips its tail, it will cause a tsunami, and the whole Malaysia will get drown. There are far reaching consequences for the whole country and Ketuanan Melayu if we touch whales!! You want me and my people to get killed is it?! We never signed up to catch whales!! Besides, whales are legally protected by international treaties. So, we at MACC are not allowed to catch whales, we know that from day 1 we joined. We don't want to bite off more than we can chew, and trust me, whaling could get very very ugly.”
“I would say he’s a 'baby whale'. Which means, if we really go against him, the Mother Whale might get so upset that we’ll all get into trouble. So, we have to be gentle with the baby whale also.”
Nevertheless, Juslo commended these 2 prominent Muslim intellectuals for always be on the lookout for ways to protect the stupid muslims of Malaysia. "Malaysian muslims would be lost and confused without these guardian angels. What would Malaysian muslims do without them? All praise and glory to God, and may God bless their intellect for decades to come," said Juslo, tears of gratitude in his eyes while touching his heart, and seemed geniunely touched.
Juslo, a part-time unemployed blogger who was banned by RPK because of minor differences of opinions, also felt relieved and vindicated. "Now, nobody can accuse me of spreading false news. Nobody can say I'm not qualified to talk about Islam (Malaysian style, at least) because even the highly respected ulamas like Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria and Datuk Nooh Gadot bloody stole my ideas. So now you know, all the things I've written are true - you just have to wait for the time to come, that's all."
Meanwhile, the Malaysian bloggerhood are worried about which other prophecies of Juslo would come true next. Ascot Sports has already been issued the very first and only betting license by the Prime Minister to put up bets of the following few prophecies coming true:
Football jerseys Muslims should
Monday July 19, 2010
KOSMO! carried a report about Muslims who wittingly or unwittingly wear football jerseys which display images of crosses, liquor brands and devils.
Johor Religious Council adviser Datuk Nooh Gadot said wearing such jerseys were forbidden in Islam.
“It is as if Muslims are worshipping and exalting the symbols of other religions. Islam does not compromise on this matter, regardless of whether it is worn for fun, fashion or sport,” he said.
Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria agreed with Nooh and said although Islam did not forbid its followers from participating in sports or dressing up, it has to be done within the boundaries of Islamic law.
Among the football teams whose crests carry images of the cross are Brazil, Portugal, Serbia, Barcelona and Norway, while Manchester United carries the “Red Devil” slogan on its team crest.
Haram pakai jersi lambang salib – Datuk Nooh
Pemakaian jersi bola sepak atau sebarang pakaian yang memiliki lambang salib, jenama arak dan imej syaitan adalah haram hukumnya dan boleh menjurus kepada perbuatan syirik.
Penasihat Majlis Agama Islam Johor (MAIJ), Datuk Nooh Gadot berkata, perkara tersebut ditegah oleh Islam dan perbuatan mengabaikan hukum yang sudah jelas boleh membawa umat Islam ke arah syirik.
Beliau berkata, memakai baju seperti itu walau apapun alasannya menunjukkan umat Islam seolah-olah mengagung-agungkan dan memuliakan lambang agama lain.
“Semua mengetahui hukum ini dengan jelas, ia adalah haram dan jangan beri alasan untuk menghalalkan perkara tersebut.
“Dalam hal ini, Islam tidak ada kompromi sama ada ia dibuat atas nama hiburan, fesyen mahupun sukan,” ujarnya ketika dihubungi Kosmo! Ahad baru-baru ini.
Beliau mengulas trend menyarung jersi di kalangan remaja dan golongan dewasa masa kini yang secara terang-terangan memiliki lambang salib atau jenama arak di baju mereka.
Trend itu sudah agak lama berlaku di negara ini namun semakin popular semenjak demam Piala Dunia melanda bermula awal tahun ini.
Antara jersi pasukan negara atau kelab yang tertera lambang salib atau imej syaitan adalah Brazil, Portugal, Sweden dan Norway, Manchester United dan Barcelona.
Nada yang sama turut diluahkan oleh Mufti Perak, Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria.
Beliau berkata, perbuatan memakai baju seperti itu hanya menjurus ke arah dosa dan boleh mengakibatkan syirik kepada Allah.
Jelasnya, pakaian yang mempamerkan lambang agama lain mahupun mempunyai imej syaitan dan jenama arak dilihat seperti mengangkat martabat lambang itu lebih tinggi berbanding Islam.
Menurut Harussani, Islam tidak menghalang umatnya untuk berfesyen atau bersukan namun ia perlu dilakukan dalam ruang lingkup syarak seperti menutup
aurat dan tidak membazir.
“We all know that believing in Islam would make you stupid and vulnerable. (Some would say, ILLITERATE too – that’s why they couldn’t fucking tell that ‘Herald’ is actually a Catholic publication.) We also know that in Malaysia, by definition, all Muslims are also automatically Malays. That is why, the Malays/Muslims are a group of very easily confused people. So, the Government of Ketuanan Melayu has decided to launch this very important campaign to protect the stupid Malays of Malaysia.”
“Let’s say a pious, highly educated Malay adult man with a highly successful professional career, walks on the street. Suddenly, he hears a little Chinese girl calls her Dad, “Baba”. Although this man is highly educated etc etc, to the Government he is STILL VERY STUPID (because as far as the Government is concerned, he is still a Malay), so he might suddenly become SOOOO confused and thought that the little Chinese girl’s Dad is actually his own “Bapa”!! How could a pious, good Malay call a kafir, Chinese pig “Bapa”?! We must never let this happen.
Not every father is a “Bapa”! So, non-Malays must not call their fathers “Bapa” or anything which remotely sound like that because we don’t want Malays to become confused about who are really their daddies. This would affect the supreme position of the stupid Malay fathers under the Malaysian Constitution and it is provocative to the stupid Malay fathers.
In the coming days, I shall ask all leaders of UMNO to suggest words which they think we should ban non-Malays in this country from using.”