Wednesday, July 21, 2010

OMG - Juslo's Prophecy Came True!!



Stan: Oh my god, they plagiarized Juslo's fatwa!

Kyle: YOU MORONS!!



Taken without permission from Juslo's Seriously-Dude-I-Really-Didn't-Make-This-Up.com, copyright unprotected.

(31 June 2010, Johor Bahru) Semi-retired blogger Juslo has today threatened to sue the Johor Religious Council adviser Datuk Nooh Gadot and Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria for plagiarizing his fatwa, when they recently declared that the wearing of certain football jerseys, such as those of Manchester United and Barcelona, were forbidden in Islam. (see the press excerpt, below)


Juslo, who on November 25, 2008 already posted the much-ridiculed post, "Fatwa Bans Red Devils and Christian Clubs", said furiously at the press conference that: "I came up with this first! Therefore, they should at least properly acknowledge my authority in this field. Otherwise, this is plagiarism, and I'm gonna sue these a**holes!" He went on to bang the table repeatedly.


Juslo says: Respect my AUTHORITAH!!


Juslo added, "I don't mind people paying homage to my works, but at least they should not pass it off as if it was their own original ideas. You know, I can respect their constitutional right to stupidity, but they should also respect my authority, just like how they always talk about respecting the Malay Rulers, the position of Islam, and the special rights of Malays, blah blah blah. This is highly unethical. Since they claim to be religious men, they ought to be ashamed of themselves."


Juslo added that he now also expects the various newspapers like KOSMO! and Star to give him credit as the original creater of this fatwa. "If you guys are ethical journalists, you should do so, dudes!"


In that 2008 post, Juslo has already came up with the world's FIRST fatwa to say that Muslims should not be allowed to wear the jerseys of Barcelona and Manchester United. Although he did not name the jerseys of the national teams of Brazil, Portugal, Serbia, Barcelona and Norway (and England and Switzerland, by the way), he did named other famous European football clubs too, such as Real Madrid and AC Milan. (Datuk Nooh Gadot and Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria might want to take note. For the good of the Muslim youths, don't leave out any one of them god-damed infidel, sesat clubs!!)


Nevertheless, Juslo commended these 2 prominent Muslim intellectuals for always be on the lookout for ways to protect the stupid muslims of Malaysia. "Malaysian muslims would be lost and confused without these guardian angels. What would Malaysian muslims do without them? All praise and glory to God, and may God bless their intellect for decades to come," said Juslo, tears of gratitude in his eyes while touching his heart, and seemed geniunely touched.


Juslo, a part-time unemployed blogger who was banned by RPK because of minor differences of opinions, also felt relieved and vindicated. "Now, nobody can accuse me of spreading false news. Nobody can say I'm not qualified to talk about Islam (Malaysian style, at least) because even the highly respected ulamas like Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria and Datuk Nooh Gadot bloody stole my ideas. So now you know, all the things I've written are true - you just have to wait for the time to come, that's all."


Meanwhile, the Malaysian bloggerhood are worried about which other prophecies of Juslo would come true next. Ascot Sports has already been issued the very first and only betting license by the Prime Minister to put up bets of the following few prophecies coming true:








The following are the reports showing how these unethical ulamas have plagiarized Juslo's fatwa:
Football jerseys Muslims should
not wear

KOSMO! carried a report about Muslims who wittingly or unwittingly wear football jerseys which display images of crosses, liquor brands and devils.

Johor Religious Council adviser Datuk Nooh Gadot said wearing such jerseys were forbidden in Islam.


“It is as if Muslims are worshipping and exalting the symbols of other religions. Islam does not compromise on this matter, regardless of whether it is worn for fun, fashion or sport,” he said.


Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria agreed with Nooh and said although Islam did not forbid its followers from participating in sports or dressing up, it has to be done within the boundaries of Islamic law.


Among the football teams whose crests carry images of the cross are Brazil, Portugal, Serbia, Barcelona and Norway, while Manchester United carries the “Red Devil” slogan on its team crest.


Haram pakai jersi lambang salib – Datuk Nooh
Gadot

http://www.rindok.com/blog/haram-pakai-jersi-lambang-salib-datuk-nooh-gadot/


Pemakaian jersi bola sepak atau sebarang pakaian yang memiliki lambang salib, jenama arak dan imej syaitan adalah haram hukumnya dan boleh menjurus kepada perbuatan syirik.

Penasihat Majlis Agama Islam Johor (MAIJ), Datuk Nooh Gadot berkata, perkara tersebut ditegah oleh Islam dan perbuatan mengabaikan hukum yang sudah jelas boleh membawa umat Islam ke arah syirik.

Beliau berkata, memakai baju seperti itu walau apapun alasannya menunjukkan umat Islam seolah-olah mengagung-agungkan dan memuliakan lambang agama lain.

“Semua mengetahui hukum ini dengan jelas, ia adalah haram dan jangan beri alasan untuk menghalalkan perkara tersebut.

“Dalam hal ini, Islam tidak ada kompromi sama ada ia dibuat atas nama hiburan, fesyen mahupun sukan,” ujarnya ketika dihubungi Kosmo! Ahad baru-baru ini.

Beliau mengulas trend menyarung jersi di kalangan remaja dan golongan dewasa masa kini yang secara terang-terangan memiliki lambang salib atau jenama arak di baju mereka.

Trend itu sudah agak lama berlaku di negara ini namun semakin popular semenjak demam Piala Dunia melanda bermula awal tahun ini.

Antara jersi pasukan negara atau kelab yang tertera lambang salib atau imej syaitan adalah Brazil, Portugal, Sweden dan Norway, Manchester United dan Barcelona.

Nada yang sama turut diluahkan oleh Mufti Perak, Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria.

Beliau berkata, perbuatan memakai baju seperti itu hanya menjurus ke arah dosa dan boleh mengakibatkan syirik kepada Allah.

Jelasnya, pakaian yang mempamerkan lambang agama lain mahupun mempunyai imej syaitan dan jenama arak dilihat seperti mengangkat martabat lambang itu lebih tinggi berbanding Islam.

Menurut Harussani, Islam tidak menghalang umatnya untuk berfesyen atau bersukan namun ia perlu dilakukan dalam ruang lingkup syarak seperti menutup
aurat dan tidak membazir.


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