Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Fatwa Bans Red Devils and Christian Clubs



UPDATE - PLAGIARISM ALERT!!
This post has been PLAGIARIZED by unethical, slim-ball ulamas!!

Juslo's Bawang


(KUALA LUMPUR, 31 Nov 2008) In line with its role and mandate to protect the country’s stupid and vulnerable Muslims, Malaysia’s top Islamic body today ruled against Muslims supporting Manchester United Football Club as well as a host of other European football clubs, saying they have elements of evil and other religions that could corrupt the highly fragile Muslims.


The National Fatwa Council's edict said that supporting such football clubs involves not just physical activities or being a couch potato, but also includes Satanic or Christian spiritual elements, chanting and worship.

"It is inappropriate. It can destroy the faith of a Muslim, who are by definition stupid and vulnerable," council chairman Professor Tan Sri Dato’ Seri Dr Sheikh Abdul Shukor Husin told reporters. He noted that clerics in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan had issued a similar edict in 2008 that called the support of such European football clubs "an aberration."

Recently, the council issued an edict banning yoga and tomboys, ruling that yoga is Hinduism’s secret weapon to bring Malaysian Muslims back to their ancestors’ kafir roots (the earliest recorded religions in the Malay archipelago were Hinduism and Buddhism, before the spread of Islam to the region), while girls who act like boys violate the tenets of Islam. The fatwa council took up the football club issue after an infidel blogger, Juslo, last week criticised the council’s ban on yoga and tomboys as further evidence of the oppression of Muslim women in the name of Islam, and dared the council to take on the male Muslims instead.


SYAITAN MERAH

The fatwa explained that the reason why Manchester United is banned is because of its nickname, RED DEVIL or “Syaitan Merah”. The council chairman elaborated, “In other words, those who support or worship Manchester United players are basically worshipping the Satan. World famous Man U players such as Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs are actually the incarnations of the Devil himself.”

When asked whether the fatwa has exaggerated the significance of a mere nickname, the council chairman denied and pointed to an additional proof: the emblem of Manchester United, where it clearly shows a Devil-like creature holding a Devil’s ‘fork’. Therefore, according to the council chairman, anybody who wears or uses Man U T-shirts or merchandise is basically carrying around the Devil with them all the time.

“Only Satan-worshippers would walk around proudly displaying the symbol of Satan. God-fearing Muslims would not associate themselves with the Devil, whether Red or Black or whatever. Also, the way they cheer and chant in the stadium in order to frighten their opponents (or in front of giant TV screens in mamak stalls everywhere) is Satan’s way of leading the Muslims astray because the cheering and chanting of Red Devils shows that they are loyal to God’s enemy."


"Instead of spending all their energy to shout “Allahu Akhbar” during their weekly after-Friday-prayer demonstrations against cartoons and infidel oppressors in front of the US Embassy and British High Commission, or against freedom of religion and speech in front of the Bar Council, they now reserve their energies "for Saturday" in order to cheer the Red Devils who carry clearly infidel names such as Cristiano, Carlos, Paul and Michael. Man U supporters therefore incur God’s wrath at least on a weekly basis. They will definitely go to hell.”


The shares of Manchester United traded on the London Stock Exchange fell 50% on the release of such a landmark fatwa by 1 of the world’s most influential and respected intellectual heavyweight institutions, Malaysia’s National Fatwa Council. On the other hand, shares of Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool Football Clubs jumped at least 25% each as analysts predict that most Muslim supporters of Man U would switch their allegiance to these 3 fierce rivals of Man U.

The Man U management has already convened an emergency board meeting to discuss whether to accommodate their Muslim supporters by changing the Club’s famous emblem and nickname. The meeting has not ended as of press time, after 5 hours of continuous deliberation. Options being considered are: changing the nickname to ‘Red Angels’, let the creature in the emblem wear a songkok or skull cap, or simply changing the Club’s name to “Mujaheeden United”.


KELAB-KELAB SALIB

However, Manchester United is not the only European football club affected. The fatwa also ruled that it is haram for Muslims to support the following football clubs (more to come) as they are deemed to be the “new armies of Christian Crusaders” who try to penetrate the hearts and minds of Muslim youths around the world by disguising as football clubs and turn all Muslim football fans into Christians simply by seducing them to wear or use their Christian merchandise. The reason is obvious and needs no elaboration: the presence of a Salib (Christian Cross) in each of the emblem of these clubs!!




AC Milan, a Christian Club.


(Don't tell me you idiots can't fucking see that HUGE cross, even if you are illiterate!)




Barcelona, also a Christian Club.


(Duh!!)




Real Madrid, definitely a Christian Crusaders' Club.


(Can't you morons fucking see that TINY cross on top of the Crusader's crown?? Don't you motherfuckers remember which country started the SPANISH Inquisition??)


How such obvious signs of Christian Crusader agenda has escaped the attention of the defenders of Islam around the world for so long is indeed puzzling.

The National Fatwa Council is also due to publish a list of “Kelab-Kelab yang ditanggung Halal” (Religiously Permissible Football Clubs) next week for Muslim football fans to choose from. Sources have indicated that little known Middle-eastern football clubs from Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and even Shiite Iran are expected to top the list. However, NONE of the clubs from Malaysia's professional football clubs from the Super League and Premier League is expected to be recommended to avoid further embarrassment to Malaysia.

A non-Muslim reporter asked whether the National Fatwa Council is insulting the intelligence of Muslim football fans in banning these European clubs because it basically suggests that Muslim football fans are too fucking stupid to tell whether they are only engaging in sporting activities and not religious worship; or that they are too fucking blur to tell whether they are at a football stadium or watching the match on the god damn TV on 1 hand, or praying at a mosque or church on the other hand.

The council chairman immediately retorted that infidels have no business questioning Muslim affairs, politely suggested the reporter to fuck off and then threatened to lodge a police report against that reporter immediately for disrespecting the Malay Rulers, the position of Islam, the Federal Constitution and inciting racial hatred. The chairman also gave that reporter a short lecture on “watch out for ISA, read your history and remember the Social Contract" blah blah blah (you know, the usual tirade used by Malay ultras to avoid intelligent debates) before abruptly changing the subject to tomboys and lesbians after he was told that the infidel reporter was actually a non-Malaysian journalist from Reuters.


JIHAD BOLA SEPAK

Meanwhile, to counter the increasing influence of Satan and the Crusaders over the hearts and minds of Muslim youths all over the world, the Grand Imam of Al-Azhar University, Egypt, has called on the Rulers of the oil-rich Gulf states to do an “Ibrahimovic” by buying up popular European football clubs with heavy Christian traditions and change them to become more ‘Islamic’ so that Muslims can wholeheartedly engage in healthy sporting activities without worrying about being led astray.

“Oh, those who believe! Turn AC Milan into AC Mullah, change Real Madrid into Real Medina! Remove the crosses and bring in the moon! Use your endowment (oil money) wisely in the way of Jihad, and your fight for the souls of your Muslim brothers shall be rewarded hereafter!”


The Grand Imam made the above call to these Rulers in his latest Friday sermon.

Meanwhile, back in Malaysia, immature and no-sense-of-humour Muslim readers of Juslo’s blog are expected to label Juslo as anti-Islam, rather than of trying to use their fucking brain cells to see just how ridiculous and childish this so-called ‘Islamisation’ nonsense has become. However, it really makes you wonder how is it possible that these geniuses still haven’t thought of the bloody obvious and come up with a fatwa to ban Man U yet, so that we infidels don’t have to fight so hard for tables at the mamak stalls every Saturday night and during Champions League matches. Totalitarianism is only for picking on women and soft targets, perhaps?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

what a stupid post!

Anonymous said...

indeed fucking stupid post

Juslo said...

thanks a lot for your compliments, u two!! ;P

Anonymous said...

Tolonglah baca & sebarkan ;-)

AN OPEN CHALLENGE TO A MALAYSIAN TERRORIST

http://sjsandteam.wordpress.com/2008/12/14/an-open-challenge-to-a-malaysian-terrorist/

Anonymous said...

Malaysia two million Indians make up less than 8% of the population today but have been the victims of the NEP policy since 1971.

Today after 51 years of independence, the definition for "Indian" has become a metaphor for backwardness.

Even though the median family income of Indian Malaysians according to official statistics is higher than that of malays, certain segments of the Indian Malaysians population live in with hardcore poverty and form part of the lowest strata in terms of economic ownership.

The official statistics show that the national wealth owned by Indians is only 1.2% of traded equity since 1971.

And according to Hindraf, 15% of Malaysian juvenile delinquents are Indian while 50% of all convicts in prison since 2004 and 41% of beggars in 2003 were Indians.

The percentage of Indians in the civil service fell from 40% in 1957 to less than 2% in 2005.

According to official records, 30 to 35 Indians per 100000 commit or attempt to commit suicide annually as compared to 10 to 12 Malaysians per 100000 in 2006.

In education, the Indians make up less than 5% of the university intake of over 45000 annually.

The Indians in the country are seeking equality after 51 years of independence and what Malaysia needs now is a sacrifice of the rich and super-rich of all races in staying clear of the NEP to allow the poor of all races to move up and progress.

Anonymous said...

Juslo=bodo taik sial! Juslo U are So ceLaka punya Orang

Anonymous said...

JESUS CHRIST IS GOD!!!!!GLORY TO HIS MIGHTY NAME!!!!REMEMBER YOU WORSHIP SINCERELY BUT A wrong god-muhamad

Anonymous said...

I agree with you 100% at your conclusion. Seriously, I'm a muslim myself but damn, that's just plain ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

I think everyone should just open their eyes and see that we are all the same no matter what the religion,,we all have one god and one devil,we are all waiting on the same persons second coming etc jesus christ or whatever other religions call him...THE DEVIL IS EVERYWHERE!!!!,you must be blind not to see it,our government and world leaders are all satan worshippers including obama and the bush family,,the new world order has been in plan since 1776 when the illuminati gained powerful knowledge from the devil on how to control the world and minds of everyone and the plan has worked all over the world especially america and britain..I could name you a hundred famous people who have sold their soul to satan,and are promised eternal life and all the power on earth they desire,that is until they go to hell the fucking horrible cunts,peoples idols such as obama who is the leopard described in the christian bible who will promise peace but bring war and endtimes,oprah winfrey,jayz,beyonce,rhiana,cristiano ronaldo,bob dylan,katy perry,eminem,d12, its all over the world especially in media,our own kids are worshipping these people like gods and have no knowledge of god and satan,,ANYWAY I'VE SAID TO MUCH I MIGHT GET KILLED JUST LIKE tupac,JFK,ghandi,martin luther king,malcomx and many more who speak out...KEEP BELEVING WE ARE ALL GODS CHILDREN.

Juslo said...

oh my god...

what did i tell u...

finally, my 'prophecy' has come true!!!!!

so now, i "did not" make this up, aye?? this is NOT that 'stupid' a post after all, huh???


Monday July 19, 2010
Football jerseys Muslims should not wear
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/7/19/nation/6689974&sec=nation


KOSMO! carried a report about Muslims who wittingly or unwittingly wear football jerseys which display images of crosses, liquor brands and devils.

Johor Religious Council adviser Datuk Nooh Gadot said wearing such jerseys were forbidden in Islam.

“It is as if Muslims are worshipping and exalting the symbols of other religions. Islam does not compromise on this matter, regardless of whether it is worn for fun, fashion or sport,” he said.

Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria agreed with Nooh and said although Islam did not forbid its followers from participating in sports or dressing up, it has to be done within the boundaries of Islamic law.

Among the football teams whose crests carry images of the cross are Brazil, Portugal, Serbia, Barcelona and Norway, while Manchester United carries the “Red Devil” slogan on its team crest.


this is SURREAL, man!!!

OMG...

Ari said...

Wowwww!!!! You are more amazing than Paul the Octopus. I wonder how many more of your blogposts will come true in time to come. *respect*

Juslo said...

Ari,

thanks mate.

well, once u understand the LOGIC of how idiots think, u should b able to figure out with some efforts... hahahaha

main thing to understand here is, these guys r NOT afraid of BROADCASTING to the whole wide world that they r stupid - so long as it's "Islamic" to their pea brains.

in fact, they r soooooo PROUD of their stupidity, they dont mind repeating it again n again even though the whole world has treated them like LAUGHING STOCK. that's the beauty of it all...
----------------------------------

"Muslim clerics in Malaysia said the Manchester United badge was promoting the devil and would lead to the path of sin."
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jul/24/manchester-united-shirt-ban-malaysia


Saturday July 24, 2010
No ‘religious ban’ on MU jerseys, says Perak mufti
By JOSHUA FOONG and ROSHIDI ABU SAMAH
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/7/24/nation/6729395&sec=nation

KUALA LUMPUR: There is no “religious ban” on Manchester United jerseys despite statements by several prominent Islamic scholars urging Muslims not to don the Premier League club’s shirts because the emblem features a devil.

Perak mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria said jerseys with devils, crosses or skulls promoted the wrong values for Muslims but that did not mean they should be banned.

“A fatwa on the matter is not necessary as it is clearly wrong for Muslims to wear shirts with devils and other unIslamic symbols because it is against the teachings of Islam,” he said yesterday.

Apart from Manchester United, which is also known as The Red Devils, other football teams whose crests carry images deemed unIslamic like the cross are Brazil, Portu­gal, Serbia, Barcelona and Norway.

“In Islam, Satan is our enemy ... but I believe Satan is also an enemy of the non-Muslims.

“We advise people not to wear them,” said Harussani.

He added that Muslims had no reason to wear and glorify symbols that promoted wrong values.

Harussani said other ulama and mufti shared his opinion but they did not plan to pass any edict to ban the attire either.

Many Muslim football fans, he said, were actually unaware of the images on the emblems.

His view was shared by Johor Religious Council adviser Datuk Nooh Gadot, who had issued similar advice to Muslims on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, several Malaysian football fans have shown the “red card” to the advice by the ulama.

They voiced disapproval over social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook.

“What am I going to do with all my Manchester United jerseys? And my sons’ jerseys?” said a Twitter user.

Some even went to the extent of accusing the ulama of supporting Liverpool, Manchester United’s archrival.

Manchester United Malaysia Fan Club, which boasts 7,000 members, when contacted, declined to comment.

Checks at various sports retail outlets in shopping malls revealed that the famous red jerseys of the club were still on sale.

****Sales personnel on duty said the new version of the club’s attire was selling like hot cakes**** as it had arrived just a few days ago after its global launch on July 15.
---------------------------------

yeah Star, RUB it on their faces... oh yeah that's right....

Anonymous said...

I thought it was satire. But then I realised just how pitifully us Muslims were forced to listen to these power-seeking fools and "respect" their nonsense. Enough for me. I've decided to grow up, just like christians when they realise there is no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Stop stupidity trying to exert control by social tyranny. Allahu akbar: God is great. Tyrants are not. Do not pretend that you represent me and mine.